English Joke

joke english

(The picture above is from dribbleglass.com. the joke below is from ahajokes.com)


English language


Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?

Let's face it

English is a stupid language.

There is no egg in the eggplant

No ham in the hamburger

And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.

English muffins were not invented in England

French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted

But if we examine its paradoxes we find that

Quicksand takes you down slowly

Boxing rings are square

And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.

If the plural of tooth is teeth

Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth

If the teacher taught,Why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables

What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?

Why do people recite at a play

Yet play at a recital?

Park on driveways and

Drive on parkways

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy

Of a language where a house can burn up as

It burns down

And in which you fill in a form

By filling it out

And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers

And it reflects the creativity of the human race

(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why

When the stars are out they are visible

But when the lights are out they are invisible

And why it is that when I wind up my watch

It starts

But when I wind up this observation,

It ends.

___________________________

My Dad

This is my dad's first family picture when he was a little boy. My dad and my mom's marriage was arranged by their parents when they were kids.

Oct. 6th. 1997 was a black day for our family. My mom got stroke and send to hospital. She was in a coma for a week. We took turn to look after her in hospital. Eventually my mom made her way home after a month. She could not walk and talk after the surgery and lost ability of writing also. Since then, my dad became a full time homecare, so me, my sister and brother could go back to our normal lives without worry.

When people get sick, they get frustrated and lose their temper often. Like my mom, she has a clear mind but cannot talk. She was a busy person, now she can not walk. It is hard for her to accept the fact of lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling, waiting for others to feed and dress her. It takes my dad extensive patience. He is always trying to figure out what she is asking. Sometimes it took him a day or longer to find out what my mom really wanted. After he got, he was so happy and told us the story with his smiling. Once my auntie on my mom side, came to visit. Before she left, my mom asked my dad to buy something for my auntie. No one could figure out what she asked for. My mom got frustrated and cried. My dad felt so bad, not for himself. A month later, when he bought a kind of seafood for my mom, finally found out that was the one my mom asked for my auntie. That was my auntie's favour food my mom knew.

My dad bought a simple wheel chair, modified his bicycle and put both together, made a special wheel chair. He can either walk or ride with my mom sitting on the chair so he can take her outside when the weather is fine. Where ever he goes, people can see my mom too. My dad became well-known in the neighbourhood. In the cold days, my mom got bored by lying on the bed and asked to go out. It took my dad half hour to dress her, pulled the wheel chair downstairs and went out. They had to be back inside in a short time because of the cold weather. Sometimes we felt bad for our dad, but he said he was doing exercise while my mom could breathe the fresh air, good for both.

Time flies, eleven years has passed by. My dad does the same thing day by day, he did not complain a single word, instead he said she deserves what he is doing. and keep him busy. My dad is very patient and kind person, always think the others first. Many little things come into my mind when I am writing my dad. He is the hero in our family. I wish all the parents be happy together like my dad and my mom no matter up or down.