English Joke

joke english

(The picture above is from dribbleglass.com. the joke below is from ahajokes.com)


English language


Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?

Let's face it

English is a stupid language.

There is no egg in the eggplant

No ham in the hamburger

And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.

English muffins were not invented in England

French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted

But if we examine its paradoxes we find that

Quicksand takes you down slowly

Boxing rings are square

And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.

If the plural of tooth is teeth

Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth

If the teacher taught,Why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables

What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?

Why do people recite at a play

Yet play at a recital?

Park on driveways and

Drive on parkways

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy

Of a language where a house can burn up as

It burns down

And in which you fill in a form

By filling it out

And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers

And it reflects the creativity of the human race

(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why

When the stars are out they are visible

But when the lights are out they are invisible

And why it is that when I wind up my watch

It starts

But when I wind up this observation,

It ends.

___________________________

My Dad

This is my dad's first family picture when he was a little boy. My dad and my mom's marriage was arranged by their parents when they were kids.

Oct. 6th. 1997 was a black day for our family. My mom got stroke and send to hospital. She was in a coma for a week. We took turn to look after her in hospital. Eventually my mom made her way home after a month. She could not walk and talk after the surgery and lost ability of writing also. Since then, my dad became a full time homecare, so me, my sister and brother could go back to our normal lives without worry.

When people get sick, they get frustrated and lose their temper often. Like my mom, she has a clear mind but cannot talk. She was a busy person, now she can not walk. It is hard for her to accept the fact of lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling, waiting for others to feed and dress her. It takes my dad extensive patience. He is always trying to figure out what she is asking. Sometimes it took him a day or longer to find out what my mom really wanted. After he got, he was so happy and told us the story with his smiling. Once my auntie on my mom side, came to visit. Before she left, my mom asked my dad to buy something for my auntie. No one could figure out what she asked for. My mom got frustrated and cried. My dad felt so bad, not for himself. A month later, when he bought a kind of seafood for my mom, finally found out that was the one my mom asked for my auntie. That was my auntie's favour food my mom knew.

My dad bought a simple wheel chair, modified his bicycle and put both together, made a special wheel chair. He can either walk or ride with my mom sitting on the chair so he can take her outside when the weather is fine. Where ever he goes, people can see my mom too. My dad became well-known in the neighbourhood. In the cold days, my mom got bored by lying on the bed and asked to go out. It took my dad half hour to dress her, pulled the wheel chair downstairs and went out. They had to be back inside in a short time because of the cold weather. Sometimes we felt bad for our dad, but he said he was doing exercise while my mom could breathe the fresh air, good for both.

Time flies, eleven years has passed by. My dad does the same thing day by day, he did not complain a single word, instead he said she deserves what he is doing. and keep him busy. My dad is very patient and kind person, always think the others first. Many little things come into my mind when I am writing my dad. He is the hero in our family. I wish all the parents be happy together like my dad and my mom no matter up or down.

Hulu (葫芦) or Calabash in English

Hulu has its long standing in Chinese culture. It has many different meanings, Hulu is for good fortune, blessing, longevity and prosperities. It is said that Hulu has an ability to improve your health and increase your wealth. The shape of Hulu is also a symbol of Heaven and Earth united together. From top to bottom, it shows that the integration of Heaven, Earth and Human being. And also it is said Hulu is able to absorb bad evil spirits and put it inside Hulu. You can hang Hulu around your home, inside the car, office or etc.

I took this picture at a small shop besides Shenyang Empire Palace. The owner is an artist who carves chinese characters, special patterns or sceneris on Hulu, a very neat shop, I spend almost two hours at this store looking around, bought two hulu. The bigger one with a hundred of Fu (Luck) character on, the other with a Fu and a Shou (Longevity). I love them very much.

Hulu or calabash is a wine grown for its fruit, which can either be harvested young and used as a vegetable, or harvested mature, dried, and used as a container or pipe. In old time of China, people used Hulu as container to hold Chinese wine or water. They hang this Hulu container under their belt, kept wine or water inside the container, fulfilled their journey and kept them alive. People used Hulu container at household also. It is called Piao. You could see them most in countryside. My parents grew up from farm so we still used Piao (Hulu) as container when I was young at my home.

Hulu Shi is a type of traditional Chinese music instrument made from Hulu, It is called Gourd Pipe in English. The instrument has a wind camber; main tone pipe has seven holes in it. Musician blows through the mouthpiece at the top of the gourd and controls the air going out of the holes with their fingers, and generates harmonies with beautiful melody. I enjoy listening music, not super fun to any particular music but enjoy the melody of many different types of musics. I like to put music at backgroud whatever I am doing, like reading, cooking, cleaning or doing housework at home. I brought some Chinese music CDs from China last time I went back homed in September this year. One of CDs is Hulu Shi (Gourd Pipe). I keep it in my car so I can listen to the chinese music when I am driving; sometimes I give my coworker ride to home if we work at late shift. She liked Hulu Shi very much and asked me to get one next time I go back China. Once I gave a ride for a young guy, he is at my daughter’s age. He told me that he was learning to play flute, similar as Gourd Pipe, and his teacher is very good at Gourd pipe. He loves Hulu Shi too. The music is international language; people can understand its beauty no matter what your nationalities are. The melody of harmony will bring you peace of mind.

Brothers Kamarazov

Finally I finish reading the book Brothers Karamazov. If you are going to start another book, that is the one I recommend. It is the one you want to read in one breath. you will like it, I do. The book made my time too short.
When I read the story about the little boy Kolya, A tiny flash arose up from my far memory, I believe I watched that movie long time ago when I was a little kid, maybe younger than kolya at that time. a little boy walking into the dark, lying between railway tracks, train passing by. Another flash was Ivan talking with the imagine of his hallucination. That was all I could recall.
The whole story is beyond my language. Go ahead, find the book, start to read. It is definitely not sleeping pills no matter you like it or not.
"Love cannot be created from nothing, only God can create something from nothing..." But mother's love is unconditional and human being pursues elusive love and never ceases for centuries.

Blog. Blogger. Blogging

Blog, Blogger, Blogging...
I am in the process of practice, keep searching for a better host which I can post my photos or make a hyperlink to connect my blog with my gallery. It took me a long time to come up a name for my blog, YJ-Corner. I like sitting in the corner, quietly looking at the world with my smile. My blog will keep changing while I am learning and it will be getting better surely and slowly :)

Welcome you, my friends. Looking forward to seeing you at my corner. Thanks!